Ik vind jou lief (I love you, in Dutch)
6th of January 2025 (Three Kings is a day celebrated in Spain where there’s a big children’s feast) Dear Kaleb , When I look at your picture I just dont have any words for how much I miss you. Your smile, your voice, your physical presence. Everything is different and empty without you. I dont […]
The Definition of Pediatric Cancer is Killing Our Children
Defining it as “rare” disadvantages the pediatric cancer community The majority of pediatric cancer research and discussion revolves around finding a cure and developing less toxic forms of treatment. There is one additional, extremely important piece, however, so often omitted. My daughter June passed away from neuroblastoma when she was eighteen months old, nearly […]
Balancing Suffering and Happiness After Our Daughter Died
A little over a year ago, I woke up and my daughter June was gone. She died from neuroblastoma when she was one-and-a-half years old after ten months of aggressive treatment. My passion for the roles I’d once fulfilled before June became sick were also gone, like the love of cooking for my family. Once in my […]
The Charles River Will Always Be About Losing My Daughter
I know the route from Boston Children’s Hospital to the Le Méridien hotel in Cambridge by heart. It’s as if a birds-eye view map has been carved into my hippocampus. We frequented it several times during our daughter June’s treatment for neuroblastoma, and I remember the drive because an acute onset of loneliness would suffocate me […]
Reliving the Anticipation of My Daughter’s Death
In the opening scene from the Netflix film The Deepest Breath you hear a woman’s heartbeat as she free dives over three-hundred feet to the bottom of a weighted line. The light blue waters turn dark and eventually blacken. Her heartbeat slows as her organs crumple under the weight of the water. She brushes against death as she […]
Can We Survive Losing Our Child?
Many times, parents those facing the death of their child will wonder, “How can we go on?” The pain looks insurmountable. The anticipation of death weighs heavily as they try to make memories in the short time they have remaining. I can clearly remember the task of planning Millie’s funeral while I held her in […]